Snips and snails

A: Wendy, you're a reeeally cute elephant.
W: No, I not elephant. I boy.
A: No you're not. You're a girl!
W: NO. I boy.

I'm telling you. Serious gender confusion in our house.

Welcome to my magic jungle

The school finally had their performance of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." S's class consists of all girls except for one very lonely boy. He was the lonely lion in the (apparently Hawaiian) "magic jungle" where the beautiful Hula dancers serenaded him to sleep.

It was hilarious to watch S sing "Hooosh my daaarleeeng, don't feeer my daaarleeeng. . .," and, "In the beelage the peaceful beelage. . . ." That English teacher sure is earnin' her keep. She's just learnin' all those kids so good an' all.

I just don't know anymore if she speaks the language BETTER THAN I. (That's for you, Mom.) And I also don't know what I'm going to do with a 4-year-old who takes off the tank-top I made her wear underneath her itsy-bitsy bikini top the moment she gets to school. The sass is cutting deep, my friends. So deep.

Thank you, YouTube

There was a time in parenthood when academic disputes that arose between mother and child had to be set aside until one could find the answer in the Websters Dictionary, Encyclopedia Britannica, the local library, or from a trusted expert on the subject.

Now times-a-changed. YouTube helped me put my 4-year-old in her place seconds after she declared that her Mexican English teacher knew English better than me. (And if you know my 4-year-old, you know it's not easy to put her in her place.)

After school one day, she came home singing, "In the jungle the MAGIC jungle. . ." Oh, no no no no, my dear girl. It's "MIGHTY" jungle. Her reaction. . .

S: No, I learned it from my class today.
A: I'm telling you, girl. Maybe your teacher doesn't know English very well.
S: No, I learned it from my English teacher. She knows English. Maybe YOU don't know English very well.
A: (mouth agape.)
A: Come on over, I'll show you a little video. (Break out a little www.YouTube.com search)



See?

She LOVED it. And now it is known throughout our house that I know English better.

The next day S tried to correct the "English" teacher when she started teaching "magic" jungle (sacrilege!). S came home and just shook her head. "She doesn't know, Mom. She just doesn't know."

I guess the internet can't put EVERYone in their place. But I still think it makes me a better mom (who knows English better).

You're beautifully American

And I miss you.

F Day

That's right, Father's Day. It boggles my mind every time. My Dad is impossible to buy for. How many times can you give someone movie tickets or golf balls?

So I need some help.

What have you done for your dads/hubbies in the past? What are you gonna do this year? This is an idea extravaganza! Let's help each other out.